Who Am I?
by Ms. Britain
Summary: After countless beatings by other dwarves and accusations that he doesn't belong in his family, Kili decides to go on a quest to discover who he and his family really are. Using a Memory Stone, he wants to see the past. Unknowingly, he is transported there. His family frantic back at home, will Kili discover who he is, or will he be too late?
1. A Bruised Body and A Broken Spirit

_30 years before the quest to reclaim Erebor, Blue Mountains_

"You will never be one of us, Elfish-looking scum, and parading around as if you are part of a royal family is the pinnacle of your idiocy. You do not even look like the rest of your _family; _how can you be so dense as to think that you belong to them?!" The teenage dwarf slammed Kili's face into the mud, whipping his hand side-to-side to cause further damage.

Laughing cruelly, the dwarf walked away with his ten companions, each sporting a bloody nose, a black eye, or various abrasions, leaving a battered, bleeding Kili with his faces inches deep in mud. Black-and-blue hands crept out, slowly raising his body out of the mud. Wiping mud out of his face with one hand and pushing himself up with the other, Kili spit mud out of his mouth and began limping home. He could feel his muscles aching where they had beaten him, and the multiple lacerations across his body stung. The worse injury, however, was the deep cut in his right leg which was currently causing his limp; looking down, he could see the blood oozing from the wound.

"_Mum is going to kill me for getting into another fight, but it was not even my fault . . . this time! They insulted Uncle first; otherwise I would not have thrown a single punch. Fili is going to act like it is an insufferable slight on the family's honor, will challenge them all, and chide me as if he is my father instead of my brother. Uncle . . . will not be pleased," _thought Kili irritably, somewhat from the pain and somewhat from trepidation at what his family's reaction would be to their youngest member arriving home once again covered in blood and mud. This was not the first time the other teenage dwarves (for Kili was a teenager himself at the age of 56, considering the longer lifespan of dwarves than humans) had ganged up on him and beaten him severely. Although Kili had put up a fight each time, they always came in large packs, making it impossible for the lone dwarf to win. Cunningly, the teenagers always caught him when Fili was not around; they had learned from the last time Fili had been present that to endanger his little brother was a death warrant where Fili was concerned.

"_Oh, Fili, if you were only closer in age to me, this never would happen," _flashed the bitter thought in his mind. Ever since Fili had reached the age of manhood, Kili felt as if many years instead of only five separated him from his brother. Thorin had begun to take Fili aside and train him as his heir, leaving Kili alone most of the time with Dis, his mother. Fili had also begun to adopt a more paternal air with Kili, which did not sit well with him _at all_. Kili had been born after Fain's death by Goblins, and Thorin had served as an admirable father figure. _Two _father figures were overwhelming to Kili, and it irritated him that Fili would treat him as a child when so few years existed between them.

Sighing heavily as the pain increased, the accusations the teenagers had hurled at him began to consume his thoughts. _"Maybe they are right; I do not look like anyone else in my family. Fili and Mum have blonde hair and jade green eyes, as did Father. Uncle Thorin has raven hair and midnight blue eyes." _Kili, passing by a lake, hobbled over to the water's edge. Peering down, his brunette hair and onyx brown eyes appeared to condemn him. Pulling back his hair, he fingered the slightly pointed tips of his ears. They were more pointed than any other dwarf he had met; it had bothered him for several years as to why that was so.

"_If my family is not my family in truth," _a sharp pain stabbed Kili's heart, "_then who am I really? How can I discover the truth if the only family I have ever known is telling me a lie? What other way besides asking Uncle and Mum can I know beyond a shadow of a doubt?" _He paused for a moment, indecision flashing over his features that Fili lovingly referred to as "a face that holds everything and hides nothing". Filing every older dwarf he knew in his mind, he quickly came to a conclusion.

"_Balin will know something, I am sure. His house is not far away," _Kili walked a bit faster until minutes later he was standing outside of Balin's door. He rapped on the door rapidly, and waited for Balin to answer. Opening the door, Balin's eyes widened at the state of his visitor. Scanning every inch of the teenager's bruised and bleeding form, he exclaimed,

"Kili, what have you gotten yourself into this time? Those wounds look serious, come inside and sit down!" Balin opened the door wider to allow Kili entrance. Balin's home was small, but comfortably furnished. Kili sat down in the nearest chair and began earnestly,

"I have had worse, Master Balin, and it was not healing that I came for; I have come for knowledge."

"Indeed, if that is so, that would be a first," Balin smiled warmly at Thorin Oakenshield's youngest nephew and heir.

At any other time, Kili would have laughed loudly at this, but his sobering thoughts prevented this reaction. Looking beseechingly at the older dwarf, he asked,

"Master Balin, is there a way to know the past for certain other than what those that have lived it can tell of it? Does some spell, artifact, or anything of that nature exists?"

Balin's eyes flickered with confusion and concentration as he pondered for a moment, than he took a seat opposite of Kili. "If I said that there was, what would be the reason that you want to know this so badly?"

Kili composed his features as he answered lightly, "Mum wants me to write a paper on such an object for educational purposes, and I thought you would be the best person to ask." He told a half-truth, knowing his face would give him away in an outright lie.

"There is one such artifact that we dwarves possess of that nature; it is the Memory Stone, a very unimaginative name, but it suits the purpose of the stone. All the memories of our people are housed in that stone, and if one wishes to see a certain time period, he simply must think what he wishes to see while touching the stone to access those memories. One must be specific in his thoughts, unless he wishes to see the entire history of the Dwarves."

Wide-eyed, Kili leaned forward and spoke, "Where is this Memory Stone located? Is it close to us?"

"Aye, it is kept in a cave a few miles away from our village. There are reasons, Kili, why we do not go there, however." Balin swept a penetrating gaze over the young dwarf, a gaze that could only be rivaled by Thorin. Kili fought the urge to squirm under such a gaze and answered as cheerfully as he could,

"Thank you, Master Balin, I will keep that in mind and will remember all that you have said. You have been a great help," Kili rose, slightly wincing as he did so, and moved towards the door.

"You should see Oin, lad, those bruises and that leg especially looks nasty. Your mother would panic at such a sight as that," cautioned Balin as he opened the door.

"I will; good day, Master Balin," replied Kili as he set off towards the woods. Pausing by a seemingly solid oak tree, he pressed a slight indention to reveal a hollow opening housing his bow and arrows. Slinging the bow and quiver onto his back, he next crept upon the grass towards a bee hive. Reaching his hand into the hive after listening for any remaining bees, he pulled out a honeycomb the size of his hand dripping with honey. Grasping a small jar he had previously sat beside the hive, he filled it with honey and put a lid on the top. Striding to conceal his limp in case one of his family members appeared, he reached the door of his home. Kili placed the jar on the doorstep, gazed at his home for a few moments, and turned to walk back into the forest.

_"I am sorry, Fili, Mu-… Dis, and Unc-…Thorin, but I have to know, despite the danger that Balin referred to; I must know who I am for certain." _Stepping into the trees, he never once looked back as he trekked for miles, deeper and deeper into the forest. Suddenly, he came upon a lonely cave in the middle of an abandoned grove. Intrigued, Kili entered the cave, arrow on the string. A pale blue luminance shone throughout the cave, drawing him further in. At the far end of the cave, he froze in wonder.

A tall, blazing blue stone hewn out of a mineral unknown to Kili stood with an almost blinding light. Gazing enraptured at the stone, he edged closer to the pulsating rock. _"So this is the Memory Stone; Balin failed to mention how breathtaking it is," _Kili inched forward until he was almost touching the Memory Stone. His hand hovering near its surface, he began to think about what time period he was looking for.

_Meanwhile, a few miles north of the cave_

"Uncle, have you seen Kili today? Mum and I have not, and he has not come home yet although it is almost dark," inquired Fili of Thorin as he met him coming from the forge.

"No, I have not seen him today, Fili; I assumed he was with you or your mother. He has not returned? That is most unlike him," a perturbed look crossed Thorin's face momentarily as he thought of his youngest nephew's desire to always be present for supper.

Suddenly, a flustered Balin raced up the path towards the pair. "Thorin, is Kili at home with you?!"

Thorin's face flashed with concern as he ran to meet his old friend, his nephew hot on his heels. "No, Balin, he is not; do you know where he is?"

Catching his breath, Balin replied, "I think I do; he came to me earlier today asking if there was an artifact that could reveal the past; I am sorry, Thorin, I did not realize that he was in earnest about finding the Memory Stone. He told me that Dis wished for him to know about it for educational purposes!"

"I most certainly did not!" A higher voice echoed from the darkness as Dis appeared, carrying a jar of honey and looking distraught. "Thorin, what even is the Memory Stone?"

Thorin's eyes had widened at Balin's words and he turned to meet his sister's eyes. "It is the memory of our entire race stored in one location." He paused, unsure of whether to inform Dis of the full truth. Preparing himself to encounter a whirlwind of emotions and insults, he continued, "There is a reason few know of it, Dis; it has proven to be a dangerous tool, too dangerous for use."

"TOO DANGEROUS FOR USE, AND MY SON WAS TOLD OF THIS?!" exploded Dis as Fili's eyes filled with fear and Thorin motioned to Balin to run while he still could. Balin safely out of the impact zone, Thorin moved to comfort Dis as she began to weep, clutching the jar of honey as if her life depended on it. Wrapping his arms around her, Thorin could barely decipher the muffled words sobbed into his shoulder, but they filled him with sorrow.

"He brought us honey, brother; Kili only does that when he is about to go do something reckless or if he is sorry for some action." She looked up into Thorin's eyes and whispered, "What is so dangerous about the Memory Stone, Thorin?"

_At that moment in a cave,_

Kili concentrated on what time period he wished to see, unsure of an exact date that would show him what he needed to know. "_Show me the time that I may know who I really am and where I came from," _he thought, hoping that it would be specific enough. His skin made contact with the stone, and his whole world went black.

After what felt like an eternity, Kili resurfaced from the darkness to find himself in a world full of screams, smoke, and flames, so many flames. Believing that he was only viewing this from a distance, calmness pervaded him where he normally would be filled with fear. That was when rubble from a broken column fell and grazed his cheek, a stinging sensation soon following. His fingers automatically moving towards the graze, he drew them back to see his own blood smeared on them.

Panic filled him as he began to fully take in his surroundings. Cocking his bow with an arrow and swinging it in a circular motion, he gazed frantically around, thoughts whirring in his head.

"_This is all real; the Memory Stone actually transported me to this time, whenever I am. This is what Master Balin was trying to warn me about! Oh, Fili, Dis, Thorin, forgive me!" _Kili made a motion to run deeper into the corridor, when a familiar voice rang out from the darkness,

"That is the wrong way, lad! We must get out of here, Smaug has taken Erebor; there is nothing left to do but to run!"

Kili swung his body around, disbelief etched on his face, as his onyx brown eyes met the sapphire blue ones of a much younger Thorin Oakenshield.


	2. Betrayal

_In the inflamed halls of Erebor_

Kili stared back into the eyes of the younger Thorin, his mind racing as his body froze in shock. He opened his mouth to make a reply, only to find that his speech was frozen as well. His eyes still widened and his mouth agape, his appearance resembled a deer caught in its death snare.

Having already escorted his grandfather Thror and his father Thrain out of the broken front gate, Thorin sighed inwardly and raced towards the terror-stricken (as he thought) teenage dwarf carrying a bow. Grasping Kili's left fore-arm firmly, he wove back and forth around the strewn bodies of the dead towards the front gate. Thorin cast a glance at Kili's face, expecting blind terror to be etched on it, but the lad surprised him as Kili's eyes darted from corner to corner, searching for hidden obstacles in the darkness.

_"Perhaps this one is not as weak as I thought," _pondered Thorin as they burst forth out of the ash-filled corridors only to be met with ash-filled open air. Thousands of dwarves spewed from the front gate, desperately fleeing for their lives, and the women's heart-rending cries echoed off the canyons surrounding the valley. The male dwarves looked back on Erebor with a fierce sorrow and humiliation ingrained on their faces, each vowing in their hearts that they would one day reclaim their lost home.

Overwhelmed at the grief surrounding him, Kili swept his gaze across the sea of faces, hoping to catch a glance of one in particular; a few moments later, he found her next to two dwarves who looked like Thorin (Kili assumed that they must be Thror and Thrain, having never met either of them). Her jade eyes bright with unshed tears, Dis supported Thrain who walked with a slight limp acquired in the bout with Smaug. The familiar lines of her face that Kili knew so well had disappeared; tragedy had knocked for the first time on her door. She met Thorin's gaze and asked, her voice slightly shaking but firm under the circumstances,

"Did you find her, Thorin? She is not here with the survivors!" Her voice rose into a panicked tremor at the last word. She then glanced at the dwarf beside Thorin, and her gaze softened slightly at the apparent youth her brother had rescued in his search for another. Supporting Thrain, she stepped forward and inquired softly,

"Who may you be, young one?" Dis looked to both Kili and Thorin, indicating either could answer one of her questions. Kili and Thorin exchanged a glance with which Kili understood clearly that Thorin would answer Dis first. Thorin's grip on Kili's arm tightened slightly as he answered, alerting Kili to his unc- (_No, I better think of him as Thorin for now)_ Thorin's loosening grip on his emotions. Thorin's voice was level enough, however, to fool everyone within hearing that he was in complete control.

"I did not find her, Dis; I had hoped that she would have emerged before and that we had missed her. I will enter into Erebor once more if I have to; she cannot have disappeared into thin air." Dis stifled her cry of despair and instead fixed her eyes on Kili, demanding an answer of him. Kili shifted imperceptibly under her gaze, having felt it many a time when he had done something wrong; knowing that he was a horrible liar, Kili determined to tell as much of the truth as he could.

"_In Durin's name I pray that she has not yet thought of dwarfling names," _he thought as he replied, "My name is Kili, son of- (here Kili frantically raced through younger dwarves' names who had not been born yet to avoid recognition) Gimli of the Blue Mountains, at your service." He bowed with Thorin's grip still present on his arm, impeding the flourish somewhat, and causing the corners of Dis's mouth to twitch slightly upwards.

Dis was about to question Kili further when she noticed Thorin's eyes were focused on the top of the canyon to their right. He waved his left arm upward in a sweeping gesture and shouted,

"Oh, help us!" The other dwarves turned to find a column of Elvish warriors assembled on the ridge with Thranduil, their king, at their head, riding a moose. Kili and Dis raised their own voices, adding their cries to Thorin's previous bellow of supplication. Thranduil gazed at the wretched party with pity in his eyes, but no empathy shone from his eyes' icy blue depths. He turned his mount and moved to depart, when a new voice, unlike any that Kili had ever heard in his life, rose from the front gate. Clear as a bell yet unyielding as iron, the voice rode the winds to Thranduil's ears in a mixture of Kazadul and Elvish,

"Do not abandon us, my people! Was not in my marriage the bond between our two people struck? You have given your word, my king, and it is not something you can retract when the cost is high! King Thranduil, I implore you, remember the bond that should not be broken!"

Arrayed in a royal blue dress with mithril embroidery and bearing a mithril circlet on her brunette hair flowing like a waterfall, the most beautiful woman Kili had ever laid eyes on stood before the ruined gates of Erebor, her gaze fixed on Thranduil's form. Although of the same height as himself and the others, he noticed that she had a way of holding herself that was unlike any dwarf he had encountered. Grace seemed to radiate from her, and she reminded him of a beech tree tranquilly upright even amidst the wildest of storms. What truly caught his attention; however, were her eyes and ears. Onyx brown eyes scanned Thranduil's face for any sign of reconsideration; onyx brown eyes startlingly like Kili's. Her ears drew upward into the tiniest of points, but pointed they were indeed.

When Thranduil turned, his eyes bore the empathy that they had lacked in his past gaze. He stared long at her, both of their eyes warring with one another. In the next brief moment, he sadly shook his head and turned once more to his undisturbed homeland.

Eyes widening, the woman sank to her knees and went whiter than the summertime clouds, disbelief marring her features. As if the dwarves had been frozen, they all sprang into motion at this action of the Elvish dwarf. Thorin, finally relinquishing his hold on Kili's arm, sprinted to her side, and Dis shuffled with Thrain towards her rapidly. Kili moved to assist them when three voices simultaneously rang out,

"Mithrilia, my heart, you are alive!" Thrain exclaimed as he drew closer to her.

"Mum, where have you been? We thought the worst!" Dis yelled as tears began to run silently down her cheeks.

"Mother, we must leave this place; it is no longer safe here," breathed Thorin as he reached Mithrilia's side.

Kili skidded to a halt as he heard what Thorin and Dis had called the beautiful stranger, his heart beating rapidly and his face paling. _"Mother?! Mum?! So that woman…would be my grandmother?"_

Thorin grasped Mithrilia's shoulders gently as he raised her to her feet. She looked back at him, despair filling and dulling her eyes. She leaned heavily on her son as they moved toward Dis and Thrain, and she looked ahead, her vacant gaze sweeping across her family without a spark of recognition. Dis's tears fell swiftly as she caught her mother's gaze, knowing what heartbreak those empty orbs exhibited and what Elvish doom they foretold. Thrain hung his head, the once mighty prince brought low by the sight of his wife's sorrow.

Feeling as if he were an unwanted onlooker of these events, Kili began to run deeper into the valley when a bell-like voice hindered him from moving any further. He half turned and met Mithrilia's eyes, which seemed to have regained some of their former vivacity looking upon him. Her voice full of compassion, yet carrying a mournful tone, implored,

"Wait, young one, I beg of you! If you have no family to return to, you are welcome to stay with us." Mithrilia smiled, although the smile did not quite reach her eyes. Thorin, who was about to protest vehemently against this offer, saw his mother's smile and reconsidered, giving a weighty glance to Kili, as if to size him up. Dis, puzzled at Mithrilia's offer, gave another glance of her own towards the young dwarf, who at this point shifted uncomfortably under two questioning gazes.

Kili paused and thought of the risks and benefits of his staying. _"If I stay, I can learn about my grandmother who I resemble and learn of why Dis and Thorin never told me of Mithrilia. Yet I cannot let Mum and Uncle Thorin _(for now Kili believed that he was part of the Durin line) _discover who I am…I have feeling that it would be dangerous for them. No, I must know more; there are too many unanswered questions for my leaving." _He met Mithrilia's gaze and replied, "My family is in the Blue Mountains; I alone journeyed here. I will stay with you, if that is your wish."

Walking back towards the other dwarves, Kili could only think of the ones he had left behind in his present. He knew that by now, Thorin, Dis, and Fili would have discovered his mission and would be looking for him. Stepping in sync with Mithrilia and Thorin, he lifted a silent prayer to heaven,

"_For their sake, let there be something left of me to be found."_

_In the present, deep in the Memory Stone Chamber of the Blue Mountains_

"KILI!" Fili screamed as he saw his brother lying unmoving on the floor. Racing towards him, Fili fell to his knees as his hands reached for Kili's neck, hoping to find a pulse. Before his fingers made contact, however, Thorin's hand shot forward and grasped his nephew's hand.

"Do not touch him, Fili; any who access the Memory Stone are inexplicably tied to it. Even a single touch could disrupt wherever he is, causing him injury or possibly…" Thorin did not finish his statement, seeing the mirror looks of horror that had crossed Fili and Dis's face at his words.

Dis knelt on the ground above Kili's head and gazed down on her youngest son's face. She could see the visible internal struggle taking place, and knew that wherever Kili was, he was in great danger. Fighting her yearning to touch him, to soothe all his fears away, Dis simply knelt there, unable to do anything more.

Thorin gazed at his nephew's motionless form and cursed himself. As soon as Kili had come home that first night bloodied from the beatings, he had suspected what the root of the ire of the other teenage dwarves had been. He had hesitated, however, unwilling to reopen old wounds that had taken years of healing. For that reason, Kili had gone to the Memory Stone and endangered his life when Thorin could have told him the truth that he yearned for. He moved to kneel by Fili and Dis, a pain enveloping his heart at the thought of Kili in peril. Peering down at the pointed tips of Kili's ears, an old scar throbbed to life again in Thorin's soul as memories of another with ears such as Kili's flooded his mind. His hands curled into fists as he held back the wave of emotion that threatened to crash over him.

_"I must remain strong for Fili and Dis's sake; they cannot see my pain."_ Thorin visualized the onyx brown eyes that would have shined forth if they would have been open, and silently renewed a vow he had made long ago. Fifty-six years ago, when he had held a brunette baby and fingered delicate pointed ears, he had only marveled at who the child had taken after. However, it had taken Kili opening his onyx brown eyes for the first time and warbling in Thorin's arms for Thorin to make his vow.

_"If I have to die in the process, I will not lose you like I did her."_


	3. An Unexpected Relation and Revelation

_In the valley of Dale and Erebor_

Night had fallen before those of Durin's line reached the rest of their kind, who had fled ahead while Thranduil had refused to aid them. Distress was not only evident in every face, but was reflected in the disorder of the camp; Dwarves were not known for being the most orderly of races, although some organization was usually present. Whatever had been salvaged from Erebor was strewn about aimlessly, and many rushed through the camp, wild looks of fear present in their eyes. As the Durin family entered, however, a sudden calmness swept over the assembled company. It was as if the mere presence of their royal line filled the people with hope that all would be well.

"_I've never been so exhausted in my life, but I cannot allow them to view me as a weakling," _was the only thought that kept Kili from sinking to the ground as he trudged further into the hastily-built camp with the rest of his family. Peering at the other dwarves faces, he concluded that he was not the only one who would readily collapse as soon as they were able. Dis in particular was struggling to continue, having had to support Thrain all the way from Erebor, a distance of five miles. Thror had refused to relieve her of her burden due to the sickness that pervaded his mind, Thorin had walked with a dazed and disoriented Mithrilia, and Dis herself had been unwilling for Kili to aid her, stating firmly that she could care for her own kin. Now she breathed heavily, and dragged her feet slightly at each step.

Although Dis was in the worst condition of the group, Mithrilia was not far behind her; her ailment was emotional where Dis's was physical. The blow of Thranduil's betrayal had fallen quick and sharp; its knife embedding cripplingly into her soul. Her eyes, which had regained their light in her pleading with Kili, were once more clouded, the veil of grief enveloping them in darkness. She leant all her weight upon her eldest, trusting that Thorin would guide her to safety.

"_The cursed Elvish doom is consuming her swiftly; I must find a way to ease her heartbreak before it is too late," _Thorin's eyes flashed with concern as he stole a glance at Mithrilia once again for what felt to him the thousandth time since their flight. Perhaps it was the shadow cast on her face by the glow of the many campfires they passed, but it seemed as if she had grown years older in a few hours, her lined brow, vacant eyes, and pale face painted a disheartening picture. Tearing his gaze away from his mother, Thorin's eyes roved around the camp, searching for the one person (besides that puzzling teenage dwarf who had inexplicably caught Mithrilia's interest) who could bring the light back into her eyes and maybe even draw a smile from her. Catching sight of a flash of rich brunette hair of the same shade as Mithrilia's, a sigh of relief escaped his lips before he shouted,

"Frerin, come over here; the rest of us have arrived!"

A young male dwarf emerged from the darkness and approached Durin's line swiftly. Young enough that only a scanty beard covered his features, the tragedy had aged him beyond his years as his midnight blue eyes (which resembled Thorin's greatly) were those of a dwarf many a year older than he. Brunette hair draped to his shoulders, he stood a few inches taller than Dis and shorter than Thorin. What caught Kili's attention, however, was the bow and quiver strapped to the dwarf's back; he was the first dwarf besides Kili himself that he had ever seen with them. A small smile broke across the dwarf's features as he approached, stepping up towards Thorin.

"There is no need to shout as yet, Brother; my hearing is still perfectly fine." He turned towards Mithrilia, and worry flittered across his eyes for a moment as her eyes stared through him. "Mother? It is I, Frerin, I am here now. Forgive my absence, but I was sent ahead to scout a suitable place for camp." Frerin paused, unsure of whether to elaborate further, waiting for a response from Mithrilia.

As if the world had suddenly snapped into focus, Mithrilia's eyes brightened as she looked on Frerin instead of through him. "There is nothing to forgive, Frerin, and it is a suitable place indeed. Well done," she smiled softly, and Frerin, Dis, and Thorin all released the breath they had been holding while waiting for Mithrilia's response. She reached forward and her fingertips brushed lightly across her middle child's face.

Kili's eyes had widened in shock and puzzlement, his thoughts began racing at this information. _"I have another uncle?! This is another relation that Mum and Uncle Thorin thought Fili and I should not know of their existence? What reasons could possibly justify this secrecy? It seems that Frerin uses a bow, as I do…perhaps that is why Uncle Thorin let me train with it, despite his hatred of Elves. But how can Uncle despise Elves so much when Grandmother is obviously somehow related to them? The more questions I have answered, more questions arise from those answers!"_ He exhaled, frustrated at the sea of questions beating against his mind.

"I had help in discovering it, Mother; Fain has keen eyesight, do you not, Fain?" Frerin turned as another figure emerged from the darkness.

Blonde locks that streamed forth as liquid gold framed a face in which jade green eyes were set and a bearded mouth was smiling crookedly. Twin swords were sheathed on his sides as the newcomer respectfully approached the group. He bowed low to the earth in front of Thror and Thrain, and kissing Mithrilia's hand, replied to Frerin,

"I do my best, my lord Frerin, but it was you who wished to travel in this direction." Fain looked up, and Dis's and his eyes met briefly. In that split second, Thorin caught the glance exchanged between the two, and filed it away in his mind for a later date.

His heart nearly stopping, Kili stared at the dwarf he knew had to be the father he had never met. Even if Frerin had not spoken Fain's name, Kili would have known it was him because of the likeness he bore to Fili, or, more accurately, that Fili bore to Fain. A momentary doubt resurfaced in his mind as he looked upon his supposed father that he did not resemble in any way. One glance at Mithrilia and Frerin, however, reassured his palpitating heart that he was indeed a Durin; somehow, Fain was his father, and he was standing right before him.

Kili's onyx eyes, which had lowered momentarily as he pondered, rose to meet jade and sapphire ones whose owners now stood directly in front of him. Curious as to who this teenage dwarf could be that associated with his family, Frerin had motioned Fain to join him and had walked over to the unaware Kili. Peering intently at the young dwarf, Frerin questioned,

"What is your name, and where do you come from? I have not seen you in Erebor before."

His eyes widening slightly, Kili answered swiftly, "I am Kili, son of Gimli of the Blue Mountains, at your service. I journeyed to Erebor for trade not long before…" He trailed off, uncertain as to Frerin's feelings on the matter of Smaug's recent coup. "Prince Thorin rescued me from the halls of Erebor, and Lady Mithrilia requested for me to stay with your family, Lord Frerin." Kili bit his lip and hoped that he had used correct titles for all of the family, knowing that Dwarves are particular where rank is concerned.

Frerin nodded, satisfied with his answer, and moved to join Thorin and Mithrilia once more. Kili sighed almost imperceptibly, and heard a small chuckle on his right. Turning his head, he observed the corner of Fain's mouth upraised, his eyes sparkling with contained amusement. Kili cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows raised questioningly at Fain, who answered his unspoken question.

"You have no reason to fear Frerin, Kili; unless he deems you as a threat to his family, he is actually quite affable. I would be more concerned with Prince Thorin's judgment if I were you, but it seems as if he has allowed you into the Durin inner circle, lad. A calm mind is an alert one, which we are in desperate need of. I must go to check on the camp, but I hope that we can converse at some other time. My name is Fain, by the way," Fain lowered his voice conspiratorially, "with no title attached to the front of it, easier to remember, do you not think so?" He clasped Kili's shoulder for a moment, unwittingly sending a wave of emotion through his unknown-to-him son, and strode into the darkness.

At that moment, Dis moved forward, as if to follow him, but stumbled and pitched forward instead. Mere moments before she would have hit the ground with Thrain in tow, Kili rushed to her aid, catching her and setting her aright once more. Her exhausted eyes meeting his, gratitude shone forth as she spoke,

"You have my thanks, Kili, for catching me in time." Thrain nodded in agreement, and motioned towards logs near a row of empty tents.

"You have supported me long enough, Dis; let us rest here for the night."

The rest of the family's voices rose agreeing with Thrain, and they sat on the logs, legs shouting in relief. After a few minutes had passed, Thorin rose to enquire if the tents by the logs were vacant, and discovered that they all were. Following his nose, he strode next to the boiling cook pots that had been saved in the flight from Erebor to gather food for his family. Although reproached by the cook for coming himself when he could have sent any to fetch it, eventually he convinced her to give him seven bowls of stew heaped onto a tray, along with mugs of water (knowing that the men of the family, himself included, would be disappointed, but that was all that they had). Returning to the camp fire, he was greeted with the most enthusiasm he had seen all day.

"Thank goodness, Thorin, you found some food; I have not eaten at all today!" exclaimed Dis as he handed her a bowl.

"Who would have known that you could make such a good server, Thorin," Frerin teased, earning a slight spill of soup on his lap and a fleeting smirk from Thorin.

"Aye, and who would have known that you could wear stew so well, little brother," Thorin remarked as he handed bowls to Thrain and Thror.

Kili pressed his lips together to keep from laughing at his uncle's remark, while Dis openly chuckled at Frerin's plight; even Mithrilia smiled slightly at her sons' bantering. After giving two bowls to Kili and Mithrilia, Thorin sat down with the final bowl and began eating slowly, pacing himself against what felt like his insatiable hunger gnawing at him. Gazing at the rest of his family (here he double-taked in his mind, uncertain as to why and when he had begun to include Kili in that thought), a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he observed that none other than he were eating slowly, but were shoveling stew into their mouths as swiftly as possible. Six burnt mouths later, the Durins began to retire one by one to their separate tents, the emotional toll of the day wearing on them.

Kili was the last to trudge to his tent before only Mithrilia and Thorin were left by the fire. He entered the tent, heart heavy with his family's pain, and mind racing with all of his unanswered questions. Lying down, however, only one thought consumed him. He curled slightly on his side as his hand ghosted across empty space to the left of him.

"_Tonight will be the first time I have ever had to sleep without Fili in his bed beside mine. Oh, Fili, I wish there had been some other way that had not required me to leave you behind, but I must finish what I started."_A single tear trickled down his face as he closed his eyes, hoping for sleep to take him into her embrace quickly. "Good night, Fee, I'll be home soon; I hope," he murmured brokenly.

Sitting by his mother, Thorin glanced at her face, scanning her features silently to find if they contained any new found hope. Mithrilia was smiling softly, and was seemingly gazing deeply into the flames. Her voice, bell-like as ever, broke his concentration.

"I may be heartbroken, _Nîn Malina Mîr_, but I am not blind. What have you been searching for in my face all day?" She smiled at him as he felt his face heat at her using of her special name for him. Thorin had not heard her use it for many years, but it still produced the same effect that it always had: warmth and fierce, protective love.

"It is of no consequence, Mother," he replied, averting his gaze to the flames, which instantly flashed upward towards the stars, his heart unable to bear any more of flames this particular day.

"I will not leave our family, Thorin, not when you need me more than you ever have before. This Elvish doom does not have me in its grasp…as of yet. I will hold it at bay as long as I am able to."

Thorin had been listening so intently on her words that he had not noticed her closing of the gap between them. It took him completely unaware, therefore, when he felt cool fingers clasping his chin and turning his face towards hers. Observing the pain yet quiet resolve in her eyes left Thorin wondering if it was only his mother who was heartbroken. He leaned forward, overcome by the feelings her gaze welled up inside of him. Mithrilia, knowing that he hated for any sign of what he considered weakness to be acknowledged by kisses or hugs, comforted him in the only way that she could. She pressed her forehead against his for a long moment, allowing him time to settle the tumultuous feelings inside of him while relieving some of hers. Foreheads still touching, she then asked beseechingly,

"Thorin, I have one favor to ask of you, something that is inexplicably close to my heart."

"Anything that is in my power, I will do it for you, Mother," he answered quietly, guarding his emotions carefully.

"Please, watch over Kili; once it becomes known that the Elves did not come to our aid, his appearance will cause him to be hated. There will be many who will not see past his ears and bow and that he is of mixed descent, such as I am. He will need to have someone to watch over him, someone that our people respect and will listen to. Treat him as if he is another brother to you." Mithrilia pulled away, eyes filled with pleading.

Thorin returned her gaze with open bewilderment on his face. "Why is this boy so important to you, Mother? We have just met him today; he has no ties with us whatsoever! What do you see in him?" His voice rose higher than he intended, and a hurt look passed across her face. Lowering his voice once more and softening his look, Thorin apologized, "Forgive me, Mother, I did not intend to shout at you. I am simply…confused," he forced the word out as if it physically pained him, "as to your asking of this."

Mithrilia sighed and absently began to brush back a wayward strand of his hair before replying, "I am unsure of why I feel this way, but it feels as if I should _know _him, as if he _did _in some way have ties to our family. Yet I know I have never seen him before in my life. You are not the only one who is confused." A half smile spread before she gazed deep into the eyes Thorin had inherited from Thror. "When I look at him, it is as if I see…you." She paused as Thorin inhaled sharply in surprise. "It is not only you, however; I see Dis, Frerin, and, oddly enough, Fain. It feels as if he belongs with us, and yet we barely know him. A strange feeling, I admit, but one that I cannot ignore." Her eyes full of tears and her voice wracked with emotion, Mithrilia continued, "I beg of you, _Nîn Malina Mîr, _watch over him, if only for my sake."

His heart twisting at the combination of her eyes, her tone, and his name, Thorin sighed resignedly and wiped a wayward tear gently away from his mother's face. "For you, Mother, I will do this. I promise you that with my last breath that nothing shall harm him. He will be as one of us," his heart filled with hope at the dazzling smile that crossed her face at his words.

"_Perhaps Kili is the answer to all my prayers for her survival."_

_In the Blue Mountains, the Memory Stone cave, present time_

They had been there for hours; Thorin was sure, waiting for any sign of their youngest member's return. Dis had remained at Kili's head, but had changed her position by resting her chin on her uplifted knees. Fili, unable to keep still beside his brother without reaching for him, paced back and forth across the cave, always having his head angled where he could see any movement from his brother. Thorin leant against the cave wall, head inclined downward to observe any flicker of life. An uneasy silence had fallen over all three, the stimulant of fear having been overtaken by the depressant of worry. Only Thorin's experience as a warrior prevented the jolt that Fili and Dis received when Balin walked into the cave, carrying food and blankets under his arms.

"I am sorry I could not come sooner, but it took awhile to prepare the food, and Dwalin came over shortly after you left. I thought that you would like to keep this as private as possible, and I waited until he took his leave before coming. I also have brought some blankets." Balin smiled sympathetically at the wretched trio. Fili's eyes were darting around the cave, constantly shifting, and his pacing having reached a frenzied pitch. Dis, after seeing who had arrived at the cave, returned her gaze to her son and began biting her lip nervously. If any other besides his family and Balin would have observed Thorin, they would not have been able to decipher the immense anxiety that was pressing down upon him. Balin, however, saw Thorin's left foot and fingers tap ever so slightly against the floor and his arm, and knew that only his royal and warrior training were the only things keeping him outwardly serene.

Balin paused and contemplated whether to mention Kili's injured leg, but decided it was too dangerous for the lad not to. "How is Kili's leg holding up?"

Thorin's eyes instantly locked onto Balin's like a lightning flash of electric blue as he barked, "What leg?" He strode over to his nephew's side, and had to bite down his anger and hold down the bile rising in his throat at the sight of Kili's left leg. "Dis, Fili, do not come over here to look at this," he warned, but too late. Fili's eyes widened as he ran out of the cave to let go of what little he had eaten that day, while Dis let out an anguished cry at the mutilated, rock-filled, direly infected wound that met her gaze.

"How came he by this, Balin?" Thorin's voice was dangerously low, as if the tone alone could slice through flesh.

"I assumed he had got in another fight with those riff-raff teenage dwarves, and I told him to go to Oin to get it tended. It seems as if he forgot to do so before going to find the Memory Stone. I am no Healer, but that needs to get attended to and quickly." Balin breathed as even he, a seasoned warrior, winced at the sight of such a wound on Kili.

"I know, Balin, but we cannot touch him under any circumstances; he could die depending on what he is doing in the memory," Thorin pulled Balin aside before speaking, not wishing to bring further distress on Dis than she already had to go through.

"Aye, Thorin, but if that wound doesn't get seen to, and it continues to bleed that way…" Their eyes met, mirror looks of anguish with Thorin's being the deeper of the two.

"We can only hope that he finds the answers that he is looking for, and returns to us; time is not the same in the Memories if I remember correctly. He could spend days while we have only hours." Thorin raised his voice at this point, hoping to give Dis and Fili hope with the information.

"You do realize, Thorin, that it can go either way with the Memory Stone. Years could pass here and yet only hours in that Memory. It hinges completely on the user and the Memory that they access. Kili could bleed to death here in a matter of days, while he had only spent minutes in the Memory," Balin whispered, sadness pervading his tone.

Thorin shut his eyes momentarily while he collected himself, willing his voice into a steady tone that offset his wildly beating heart. He opened his eyes and replied,

"I know, Balin, I know. If Kili has not returned before the time that he will bleed too much, then we will have to risk bringing him back by force. It will be a better chance of life than bleeding to the death."

Returning to the cave, Fili lay down upon the cave floor, utterly spent from his pacing and retching. He gazed at the still form of his brother, his heart aching and longing to hold him close, to apologize for not being there when he needed him, to smack him upside the head for being such an idiot. His lips quirked into a smirk but it faded quickly. Feeling sleep enveloping him in her inviting embrace, he barely whispered,

"Good night, Kee, come home soon, I pray."

**A/N: I have just realized I haven't done an author's note for this story, but you kind of need one for this chapter! I apologize for not updating last week VERY busy week! I wrote my longest chapter ever in fanfiction to make it up to all you lovely readers! This story is actually dedicated to Neocolai because of her amazing fanfic **_**Nothing Can Harm You**_** which is my favorite piece of Hobbit fanfiction on here! Anyway, the most important part of the note is Mithrilia's Elvish "nickname" for Thorin…I got it from an Elvish to English website, so it may not be accurate (and I don't speak Elvish, sorry) but this is what it means in the story!**

_**Nîn Malina Mîr: My Blue Jewel **_

**Because of those gorgeous midnight/sapphire blue eyes of his…don't even get me started! **


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